“Why we shouldn’t victim blame the women who fell for Simon Leviev’s con-artistry”
There is nothing better than a true, strong friendship between women. A bond that can’t be broken. The kind of sisterhood that’s foundations are built on empowering one another, laughing until you cry and crying until you laugh. These kinds of best-friendships are usually made at high school, in the workplace or maybe even at your weekly yoga class. Not typically over a shared experience of having the same imposter ex. So, when we found the Instas’ of ‘The Tinder Swindler’s’ victims and saw that they – Cecilie Fjellhøy and Pernilla Sjoholm – had formed a bond worth more than his fake billions could buy, we felt like screaming ‘GIRL POWER’ at the top of our lungs.
And whilst, we at Voir, are living for this friendship formed through their shared tinder trauma, our hearts break for these women as the emotional and finical damage they’ve been left with will last a lifetime. With catfishing, poor communication and the sending of unsolicited nude pics at play, online dating is a hard enough ballgame as it is, without the fear of more Simon Levievs on the loose.
The Tinder Swindler hit our screens last week and has already reached over 45 million hours of views. The true crime documentary, directed by Felicity Morris, presented the story of professional con artist Shimon Hayut and the lengths he went to, with his crew, to make his millions. The film begins with victim Cecilie Fjellhøy narrating her personal account of matching Hayut on Tinder, where he went by the name of Simon Leviev, the son of a billionaire ‘king of diamonds.’
His profile was plastered with pictures indicating he lived an extremely luxurious lifestyle, drinking champagne on yachts, boujee restaurants and flying all over the world in style. Cecilie then walked us through her and Leviev’s whirlwind of a romance, which included a private jet ride to Bulgaria on the first date. What became immediately apparent was his use of love bombing and emotional manipulation from the get-go, luring Cecilie into the trap of falling in love with him.
Pernilla Sjoholm (who was an ex turned close friend of Leviev’s) fell victim to the same trick, as he spoiled her with lavish dinners and holidays, before forming a deep connection with her. Long-term girlfriend Ayleen Charlotte who was in a serious relationship with Leviev for over a year, also fell for Leviev’s trap, before realising he was an imposter.
After months of emotional manipulation, he would have his women exactly where he wanted them, and the fraudster’s cunning plan would take its darkest turn, as he convinced his victims to take loans out, ‘lending’ him obscene amounts of money, because his ‘enemies’ were after him. Overall, it is estimated he has swindled a staggering ten million dollars from all of his victims over the years.
Cat-fishing at a catastrophic level
Cecilie, Pernilla and the many others Leviev conned, had fallen victim to a serious case of catfishing. We’ve all been there. You’re waiting at the bar, and your ‘6ft2’ tinder match turns up to the date looking a little more like 5ft8, and a lot less built than in the pictures he had used from 2016, at the peak of his ‘Gym-King’ and protein powder phase.
Think of it like that, but times a million (or ten). Now if Leviev’s tinder profile had read, ‘fraudster, criminal, not really a billionaire and perpetrator of emotional abuse’, one would like to think he would have had zero matches.
Women world-wide live in constant fear of being sexually assaulted or hurt by men, which in turn can make the thought of online dating very daunting. Whilst meeting up with a stranger can be scary, sometimes when you’re lonely and single online dating becomes essential within your quest for love.
Prior to watching The Tinder Swindler, the usual precautions would be taken; meeting up in a public place, informing friends of locations and keeping them on speed-dial in-case an escape plan was needed. But, the documentary has brought another issue in the world of online dating to light. Simon Leviev wasn’t at all who he said he was, and he went to extreme lengths to keep his act up. With a team of ‘professional’ businessmen around him, photoshopped pictures and his ‘baby-mama’ going along with his story, it’s no surprise the women who had fallen in love with him, did not bat an eyelid.
The use of dating apps has become so normalised in our society, and whilst they have helped many to be successful in their search for love, they should be used with caution. The trauma that Cecilie, Penilla, and many other victims will carry forever, is a reminder for us to take precaution when swiping right.
Blame should be placed where blame is due
Un-surprisingly the show has taken social media by storm, as viewers are left stunned by The Tinder Swindler. But since the show aired, a victim-blaming narrative has been circulating the internet, as the women are judged for falling at the hands of the master manipulator.
Speaking to the ‘Private Parts Podcast’ on the criticism she has received, victim Cecilie says,
“It is so easy with hindsight, when you weren’t in the situation. When you’re under threats and stress it’s very different to when you’re just sitting here and saying like I would never have done that.”
It happens a lot more than you might think. Romantic fraud, where someone is scammed out of money by someone they believed they were in a relationship with, is alarmingly common, as according to the UK’s Action Fraud, in 2020 £68 million was lost due to romantic scamming. Instead of victim-blaming, championing them for coming together as a collective of strong badass women seeking their revenge, was the intended response for the show.
Director Felicity Morris tells ‘The Private Parts Podcast’, “I wanted to make a film that gave these women the platform and validation to say what they needed to say’, as she explains that she wanted viewers to feel ‘huge amounts of empathy’ for Simon’s victims.”
If The Tinder Swindler has taught us anything, it is that women and their friendships are unstoppable, and that it is time we all took some investigative measures when matching our suitable bachelors, to ensure all the con-men of the online dating world take their last swipe today.
Words By Lucy Rosenberg
Photo Credit: Netflix
